Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Etiam eleifend pretium lacus at molestie. Donec vestibulum tellus at sapien fermentum, et luctus ipsum vehicula. Fusce sollicitudin facilisis molestie. Pellentesque in lobortis quam. Phasellus rutrum nisi id nisl posuere molestie. Cras congue convallis sapien faucibus lacinia. Morbi porttitor dapibus erat, sit amet dictum risus laoreet eu. Pellentesque ornare vulputate quam eget rhoncus. Morbi ornare, mauris eu lobortis accumsan, ipsum felis iaculis nulla, in fermentum turpis justo et nisi. Curabitur porttitor iaculis lorem, id cursus massa aliquam vehicula. Nam lacinia risus ut eros malesuada, nec tempor turpis consequat. Nulla eget justo felis. In aliquam a nulla quis posuere. Phasellus erat nulla, dictum id tellus vitae, porttitor accumsan ipsum. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos.
Proin nec mauris vel augue porttitor posuere ut ut quam. Sed pretium porttitor libero non dignissim. Proin interdum bibendum ligula, tristique malesuada massa egestas at. Suspendisse felis libero, tristique sed venenatis sodales, pellentesque vitae lacus. Suspendisse pharetra ligula eu gravida maximus. Aliquam erat volutpat. Maecenas eu finibus nisl. Nunc ultricies tortor odio, eget tincidunt orci pretium ac. Quisque nec ex at lectus pulvinar vestibulum quis sed leo. Cras finibus sapien non eros bibendum dictum. Nullam eget metus rhoncus, tempor leo sed, fringilla eros. Maecenas placerat lacus urna, non condimentum diam ultrices eu. Morbi non sapien rhoncus, dignissim sem iaculis, venenatis mi. Phasellus congue eget nibh sit amet maximus. Aenean condimentum posuere dolor, eget consequat dui placerat nec. Ut consequat massa ut fermentum iaculis.
tumblr user 1: you guys should drink more plain water, it’s good for you
tumblr user 2: actually you can drink whatever you want all the time
tumblr user 3: yee and water is icky :(
tumblr user 4: I literally can’t drink plain water as I’ll instantly start throwing up, some people’s bodies simply can’t process it, you can’t make blanket statements about what’s good or not good for someone else’s digestive system
tumblr user 5: ooouugh.. tony the tiger hairy armpits 😩
Anderson Cooper: “That rumor- were that you had a male appendage. That you were a hermaphrodite. And you joked about it on the stage last night.” Lady Gaga: “Maybe I do.” Cooper, laughing: “But it- but it’s interesting-” Lady Gaga: “Would it be so terrible?” Cooper: “But it’s interesting, a lot of artists would immediately put out some sort of a statement saying that this is absolutely not true. You have fun with it.” Lady Gaga: “Why the hell am I gonna waste my time and give a press release about whether or not I have a penis? My fans don’t care and neither do I.”
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Can you just imagine trying to explain to people 40 years ago or 40 years from now the amount of time actual US news reporters and politicians wasted asking intrusive questions about people’s genitals before audiences of millions while refusing to discuss global warming which we already knew about in the 80s
you don’t get it. i miss batman. except not that batman, and not that guy’s batman, and not that guy’s batman, but this highly specific iteration of batman that coalesces after you’re hundreds of batman comics deep and you figure out that everyone in your entire life has lied to you about batman this entire time. i miss that specific batman
i miss this batman from detective comics #457
i miss batman from legends of the dark knight #79
i miss batman from legends of the dark knight #67
i miss this highly specific sequence of panels from batman: black and white that is genuinely one of the best pages about the character anyone ever fucking wrote and i’m so fucking pissed no one ever doubled back to this shit
I MISS THIS STUPID CUTE SHIT FROM DETECTIVE COMICS #474
I MISS GOTHAM KNIGHTS #45
they did the, “what would happen if bruce wayne’s parents never died?” story decades ago. they’ve done it again, and again, and again since then, but no one has ever done it half as fucking good as they did it in detective comics #500, and the hilarious thing is, it’s not even the full issue, it’s one story in an anniversary issue, and it is fundamentally the best batman story ever told. the singular best one. the whole gist is that phantom stranger appears to batman and is like hey, i found a universe where your parents didn’t die, would you like the chance to save them? and batman of course says fuck yeah, carts in robin, and they go a-huntin, but the strange thing about this universe… is that it lacks, entirely, the concept of a hero. there’s no greek heroes. there are no superheroes. you don’t have achilles, perseus, or superman. there are no stories about heroes; it’s a universe where “luke skywalker” a character concept is impossible to fathom.
and robin’s the one who discovers that, and he’s like, look, dude… you’re this universe’s last shot at a hero. if you stop your parents from dying, you’ll never be batman, and there will never be a hero here, and in the narrow worldview of cape comics this is a Big Fuckin Deal, because then who is going to save all of those innocents? and naturally batman is like dude, fuck you, i’m gonna do it anyway. and then he goes and he saves his fuckin parents. but then you get:
he just becomes batman fucking anyway. because the whole fantasy of batman is that it is never wrong to save someone’s life - even at the deep personal cost, this is fundamentally worth doing. batman’s not bruce’s Darker Side or this twisted alter ego that is a monument to his trauma and pain - it is the precise and exact opposite. it is the weaponization of something that terrified and scarred you (bats, violence, the night) and using it to help people, therefore this is the greatest batman story every fucking told, bar none.
and yet frank miller slaps his dick repeatedly on a typewriter and i’m supposed to think that’s somehow better. but once you fucking know this is out there, people could just be writing about this goofy-yet-elegant character concept instead of trying repeatedly to beat the shit out of it and make it into something it isn’t, once you fuckin know, you fuckin know forever. you have to spend the rest of your goddamn motherfucking life seeing batman stories that reach a mere fraction of, what, 10 pages published in the fucking 70s? you’ve had since the fucking 70s to do this shit better and you made it worse? what the fuck? you don’t get it. i miss this highly specific version of batman, i don’t miss that guy’s batman, or that other guy’s batman, or that other guy’s batman, i miss this very one right here. i miss this fuckin guy
